what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
