I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
