I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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