let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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