No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
