My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
