Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
