Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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