Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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