There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
