well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize