im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
