I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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