Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I want to be your penis for a week.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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