I wish my penis had an off switch
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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