Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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