He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
