just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
