I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
