Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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