I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize