she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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