I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
FUCK WHALES
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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