I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We are two peas in an std pod
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
