It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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