nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
did you just send me my own nude
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Randomize
