He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You've changed since you got that strap on
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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