I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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