Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
