3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize