idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If that was your dad, he is hot
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
