She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He? As in you personified your dick?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize