I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
