We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
