if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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