she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
