I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
