I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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