Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
