Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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