im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She bit a glass in half.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
