i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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