haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
