covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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