It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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