Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
