apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
