I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
