I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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