So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
