FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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