i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
