Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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