i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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