You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
