Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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