i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
