I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize