The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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