Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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