Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
