Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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