My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
