i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
