You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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