It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
